What to do..
It could be anything.. I always feel that as long as your husband/partner is not a drug addict or abuser (kaki pukul), he is still a good husband. Still acceptable to remain by your side or in the house. And we should be grateful that he is not in the 2 categories. But what about womanizer? Main kayu tiga behind your back? Or perhaps the husband who never pays nafkah to the wife presumably that he can't afford to give or the wife is fine with that situation.
I am not here to judge. My marriage is far from perfect. I am just here to express my feelings. And I am not trying to be an expert in marriage thingy.
I do have single lady friends who are happy with their single life. Certain yes.. Certain not. No, they are not lesbians. Being single doesn't mean you are alone.
Recently, my friend (female friend) told me how his husband cheats on her. Being secretive just because the husband worried that the wife would get upset and furious. It was not the 1st time that, she had to tolerate with such behaviour. This may sound silly or petty problem to you but you know what.. I always believe, there shouldn't be any secrets between husbands and wives. Be it minor or major. Kecil-kecil itu ok la.. Macam pergi makan nasi ayam tengah hari tak bagitau, ok je kot. Kot tetiba tak bgtau pasal lunch nasi ayam lepas dia tu dia tau dan kena marah, tak tau lah.. mungkin dia pun ngidam nak makan nasi ayam jugak.
So, back to my friend. Her husband has a habit of borrowing money from friends. Mind you, first thing in mind you would think that's ridiculous BECAUSE his paycheck is huge than us average employed, drives an expensive car (at least to me since the monthly installment is triple from my car) and as for their baby, the wife has been forking out her own money for the baby's expenses and the household items. They don't even own a house yet. When he was asked what did he do with the money, he had no words. He just said he had no idea. Owh.. By the way, he did give nafkah to the wife. The wife has been managing his debt payment ever since REMINDER LETTERS arrived their place. Turned out that he had few personal loans and credit card up to RM80K in total. And no.. not even a single gift for the wife (for giving birth to a baby boy.. at least). *sigh.
What the wife did? She took out her savings to settle all the late payment. But then I guess, that's what all wives would do. We do our best for the husband even we do expect not a small appreciation would be given by the husband. And yes.. It's a fact. Because he did it again. She was thinking of having a divorce before it becomes worst like probably later on bila dah tak da kawan nak bagi pinjam duit, the husband pergi pinjam kat along pulak. Who knows. *touch wood.
But then, she has a baby to think of. Hmm.. You know what..
The worst part is..
I can only listen.
It may be different situation to you out there.. Have some faith.. Allah S.W.T is always with you. Keep telling yourself that. I know it's not nice to share your marriage problem, but I'd prefer listening to my friends problem rather than leaving them alone. Kita tak nak tetiba, satu hari, terbaca pasal kawan kita dah bunuh diri dalam surat khabar. Lepas tu menyesal sebab, we're not there when she needs us the most.
This is just my thoughts.. How I feel.. and how you feel about this issue might be different.
Let's not be judgemental.